Thursday, May 28, 2009

Aftermath





Dear freezer part 2.

Dinner was served. It was a symphony in orange, red and dark pink:

A pizza appetizer. 

Followed by macaroni in tomato sauce. 

Carrots. 

Raspberry saft. Everyone was happy. 

Dear freezer


What do you have to offer these hungry people?

Answer to follow. Stay tuned. 

Dear after eight people


Dear After Eight/nestle, could you please make a heat resistant case so dad can sneak up to his office with a few minty treats in his pocket without ruining his shirts? His vice was recently revealed because of the deceptive nature of chocolate. Don't tell mom. Thank you.

Dear Jackie


Thanks for telling me something about myself I didn't know: that i'm just like an African mother.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Dear Skoal project

















Have no alcohol at the office, so coffee will have to do for now. 

Ps. Thanks Jenny!
Thanks Francisz!
Ps 2. Man it feels good to be that close to Max. 

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Dear museum of modern art


We love coming to see you, but this remains the favorite view. Or we love stopping by to eat and then the kids play at the Museum of Architecture. But this Saturday, we thought we'd go play and draw and paint at your place. But we were told you only have kids activities on Sundays. It sounds so snålt. 

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The dogs next door


The dogs next door are champions. And so well behaved that they walk themselves.

Dear Marielle Kerber




















Dear Marielle Kerber, I love your clothes.
(Note to readers:The butterfly collection
is Marielle's most recent creation.)

Monday, May 18, 2009

The end consumer tests Matthew Williamson for H&M
























I bought it, I tried it, I will return it.                                        

















Really nothing wrong with it except that is was too expensive for being cheap and too cheap to look expensive. Also, the embroidery was very neon-y up close. But the thing that killed it for me was that I couldn't use my hands when wearing it as I had to keep posing trying to look like that model. 

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Dear readers















I know there are some of you who've been with me for years. Remember when the garden looked like this?


Well, these days 
it looks like this:






















Throw in a few small individuals:






















Keep 'em coming. 

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Dear Lambi

I love your brand Super Long. Again, I can't imagine this as a product name in any other country. Also the "even longer" argument adds a touch of mystery. Longer than what? We'll never know. Just that it's SUPER LONG. And soft and caring. That's really all anyone needs to know. 

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Dear Awkward family photos










Dear Swedish newspaper























Swedish newspapers pride themselves on telling it like it is. But sometimes, they go overboard. 
I can't imagine any other leading newspaper in any other country putting it this blunt. 

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Dear Georg Oddner





Copyright © Georg Oddner / Malmö Museer / IBL Bildbyrå


Browsing through your pictures at the Malmö Museer website, listening to Putte Wickman, I'm time traveling right before my appointment with the dentist. Yes, that would be a picture of Richard Avedon. By Georg.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Meet the readers - Karin

Here's Karin with my brother Björn at Björn's birthday and screening party for his short film "Bjorn in the USA". I've known Karin since she was 14. She used to date one of Björn's best friends. Back then she was into theater. Now, she's into food. I sometimes try to make people believe I'm Tina Fey's unknown Swedish sister. But Karin is just more Liz Lemony as I could ever be. She cheats. She exaggerates. She's impossible not to like. I love her.

In that picture above with Björn, the two are talking about Barbecue sauce. The sauce is the boss. Everyone knows. 


Dear Jessica

This is my friend Jessica in her store. She also has a cafe. She hates being photographed which is a shame considering she's married to a photographer.

Dear Glutes magazine

This seems like such an SNL joke, an entire mag devoted to butt muscles. But it's true. When the economy goes down the drain, we can all work on our behinds. Tone! Firm! Shape!

Dear kids


Thanks for recycling.

Dear mini rodini









Dear mini rodini, I love all your clothes. So do the kids.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Dear Nike
















Dear Nike, it's so easy to break in your shoes. These were brand new, yesterday.

Dear Nikon ( continued)
















Settled for dad's D80. I LOVE IT. I'll buy it from him and he'll get your new D90. Pictured: Joel in the phone with mom and dad about to sing for him. Neither understands the other one is on the line. So this is really a picture of three people listening to the sound of silence, over an analog phone line. These things still happen.

Ps. No, that's not Niki in the background. It's her doll.

Dear men of my life
















Dear man, son, dad. Love you so much. Not pictured, but as important: brother. Pictured: gift card from my brother promising a day of picking out a fine fish and then cooking it and eating it. As you can see, Joel is already looking forward to this fishy day. 

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Dear son
























Dear son/transformer/police officer/entertainer/upsetter, 
















It's your 4th birthday. I remember 4 years ago. and 2 days.























I look kind of happy here. It's because I'm about to meet you. Also, like it's common for the pregnant to do, I seem to have spilled coffee on my belly. Again.























I laughed half as much before you were born. 



















You've always been my kind of monkey.


















This is so much like you. You do everything suddenly. Like fall asleep.
Or steal my food. 




Today's WTF


Dogtoys in the share of bride and groom hen/roosters. Why? Dogs love to chew on married people? Singles aren't as chewy?

Dear Bing Bing Bing























Dear Queen Rania of Jordan



Dear Queen rania of Jordan, when they make a film about my life, I would like you to play me. Your family could play my family. I look forward to this. Your kids kind of look like mine. Your husband doesn't really but that's ok.

-the end consumer

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Dear Wolford




Dear Wolford, see me here? What do you think this is? An idiot in a changing room? A mime on the run?
No. This is one happy end consumer. Happy because the woman working at your store seemed to love her job. I came in to buy pantyhose and she smattered of a ton of questions. I finally settled on a pair and as I did and tried to pass my credit card over the counter she said "Oh. Your cuticles are dry. You should use gloves to put the hose on".

She cared! She lent me gloves!
She then told me to never wash panthyhose in water warmer than 30 degrees celsius, it was something about elasticity.

She was dedicated. And those hose have lasted way longer than any other pair I've owned.

Those hose. Say it. Love it.