Thursday, March 29, 2012

First we had Vanja. Then I wanted another baby so bad so bad. Instead, we split up and lived apart for a year. And then, I was suddenly pregnant again and so happy, but also so sad because the age gap between the kids would be so huge. I was comparing the 3,5 years between my kids to the 1,5 years between me and my brother and the difference in age between My own children seemed so vast I remember thinking it was so sad, they'd never appreciate hanging out together.

I was so wrong. Sometimes it feels so good to be wrong.

Sad google news

Went through my stats like any blogger would and was surprised to see some sad person from Syria had ended up here.

Good grief poor Syrian I thought, with all that's going on at your homefront, you're here at Letters from the end consumer? And then I saw the even sadder truth, he (presuming maleness here) had ended up here after googling "russian girls big tits". I can not imagine a less gratifying blog if that's what you're looking for, in a tormented country far away.

My apologies.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Fun for many nationalities


If you're Swedish, this pic from my local magazine dealer is funny. At least to me it is, the sheer proximity of these two very different female oriented mags.

If you're not Swedish, you probably enjoy that we have a men's mag called Slitz and a women's lib mag called Bang?

You're welcome.

Kan inte låta bli att hoppas


Kan inte låta bli att hoppas att delfinen var en del av fällan och att det vi ser i bild är det glada djuret när allt gått enligt plan.

What our home always looks like


How families with kids manage to keep their lives and homes tidy is beyond me.

Bye bye Urban Outfitters, Anthropologie, hello Starbucks

About the last person around to find out Urban Outfitters and Anthropologie owner Rich Hayne is a Santorum supporter.

Day after this, I hear Starbucks is openly pro equal rights when it comes to marriage.


Monday, March 26, 2012

That would do it.

Joel has not been well. He was sick last week and had to stay home from school. He's better now but I was curious.

Me: before you puked, did you feel ill at all?

Joel: No.

Me: you felt nothing?

Joel: No. But i did drink lots of weird water from a puddle.

Actors studio

I have lived the hard life of an underpaid, unappreciated actor.

Best seat is always taken

Dubbelgrepp


Såg den här som Johanna postat och visst var den kul, men är det inte ännu roligare med denna toapappersupphängning (i bild till vänster) som en del amerikanska toaletter bjuder på, en anordning med dubbla rullar som inbjuder till dubbelhandshantering? RAWLIT!

Sunday, March 25, 2012

OMG

I spill water, Jesus' face magically appear!!! Or is it Zach Gallififianakinikis? Or Rasputin's?
Who's visiting our kitchen?
Ps. More importantly, how do I sell this on eBay?

Ghost stories?


Every night, Niki asks me to tell her a ghost story. I don't know any good ones and am not really into horror.

So yesterday she took matters into her own hands and told me a story instead.
It was about a girl who went to bed with her doll. But during the night, the finger nails of the doll grew and grew and in the morning, the girl's parents found her dead in her bed, her throat pierced by the sharp nails of the doll.

Niki said Joel had told her this story. So creepy.
It sounded vaguely familiar, as if I'd heard/told it myself at age 4-6.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Daylight saving time


It's time to reset the watches and when that happens I want to do more drastic time resetting.
I'd like to travel to see what Cleopatra really looked like. I'd like to see the Shawnee ride over the Ohio plains before they were cruelly forced to leave their homes and roots and move to Oklahoma. I'd give anything to take a peek at a real Viking ship sailing towards Scotland. And to see what life was really like back in the day when places like were Eilean Donan castle above were real homes and workplaces.

I'd love to snoop around the renaissance homes of Lucrezia Borgia or the Medici family. Or even just walk around in any town in the 20's or 30's or 40's or 50's or 60's.

I know most people think time travel will never be a reality. But you can't stop me from dreaming.

Monday, March 19, 2012

More post surgery news

Have had constant candy cravings post surgery. What is this salsa loving candy craving foot trying to tell me? Indulge in your most childish yearnings?

Game on.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

ASKING YOU FOR ADVICE

I want to learn how to dance salsa in my basement with the help of our Wii. Any suggestions on game-software ?Do I need a dance mat?

PS. Is this my new foot talking? Not even a week post-surgery, foot goes: Let's learn to salsa!

During surgery

I loved having surgery. Well perhaps didn't love it, but it exceeded my expectations. The surgeon and assistants were so friendly. They were chatting away about their kids. One of the nurses said it was hard when her kids fought over their invisible friends as she couldn't interfere and help solve situations. We all laughed about this and then someone said "well at least adults don't do THAT!" and it took all my strength not to start a discussion about religion right there on the operating table.

The trouble with women's bodies

In many cultures, the allure of a woman's hair and/or body is considered too much to take for the male eye, causing his mind to stray from more important issues such as work and/or God.

I've never understood why the solution to this problem is to cover the woman up?
My solution would be something akin to this, freeing the man from the glaring and distracting beauty of womanhood while letting the woman go on with her life.

"Many racehorse trainers believe these keep the horse focused on what is in front of him, encouraging him to pay attention to the race rather than other distractions, such as crowds."

"Many Swedish bloggers believe these keep the man focused on what is in front of him, encouraging him to pay attention to his life and work rather than other distractions, such as women."

An alternative could be to introduce sports tv, an effective albeit temporary way to minimize interest in women's bodies.

Just one more post about reproductive health

Every woman and man should have morning after pills at home. In the heat of the moment, contraceptives might not be as present as they should be, but a morning after pill is way less intrusive and emotional than the process of having to go through with an abortion. It may not be 100 % effective, but it sure is more effective than nothing or simply relying on the power of prayers.

Get some today.

Am I preaching to the choir again? Well, if you're American, I would stock up on these now, the climate in your country is scaring me, who knows what laws your Republican legislators may pass to block your access to great inventions such as these?

Also: is it just me or did this election turn into a full blown war on a territory known as the female reproductive system coupled with the battlefield of women's rights?
HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?!?!

I hate the current notion that women can't take care of themselves, that they're not capable of looking out for their own best interests.
Why should women worry their pretty little heads? Everyone knows a woman doesn't need much. Just give her a cup of tea and she's happy.

One more post about reproductive health

How about the republican legislators give up their political careers and stay at home to raise all the unborn children whose rights they want to protect so much?

Since they are so interested in these children's welfare I see few people better suited to raise them.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Reproductive health - listen up Republican legislators

I am what happens when you give a woman full command of her own body and reproductive health: A woman with 3 kids and no abortions.

Mind you, I would still DO ANYTHING to protect the rights of others to decide for themselves if they should or should not have abortions. And don't even get me started on contraceptives! You must be out of your minds.

I love Ohio State Senator Nina Turner

(Thank you Jennifer!)

Friday, March 16, 2012

Barnuppfostran


Jag står inte ut med Bamse. Ständig konfliktlösning med våld, av att lämna sin familj månader i sträck för att resa med sina polare och leta efter skatter.

Det är verkligen min tråkigaste läsning för barn. det är så tråkigt att jag idag råkade säga Fuck You Bamse när jag pratade om Bamse med barnen. Det blev en stund av oro och allvar och jag fick säga förlåt.

Bragging

Know how all parents think their kids are the cutest, most talented and so forth?
Well, I have family members who can empty a mall simply through the powerful stench of their farts.
But is that true talent or perhaps genetic advantage?
Need to know how to market our skill sets.

Nej Jonas

Vi är alla Salieri jämfört med ditt inlägg. bow to thee.

Lord of the rings trilogy

Having now seen them all, I think the whole ring thing is really about cutting carbs/sugar out of your diet.
Either that or cocaine. Not sure. But most likely carbs.


The thing I love most about Today's Outfit

I love when people analyze their own styles and share secrets of how they've built their outfits around this or that.

Today, I built my outfit around the idea that my bandaged foot will draw away attention from the weird rash mustache I got after waxing my upper lip which I only did because my eyebrow grooming snowballed as I was handed a magnifying mirror post-plucking and yes, that's the only time anyone would ever see the velvety fuzz on my lip.

I'm so tired from not sleeping and counteracting foot pain with Freaks & Geeks all night, I'm barely comprehensible.

But it worked! The pain is totally fine now.
When in pain, use american comedies. USE THEM. Watch them and laugh. Laughter makes you relax. Relaxing makes you breathe right. Correct breathing is great for your entire body and the healing process.

I laughed my way through labor pains and I laughed my way through this post surgery pain. Pure Science.



Fashion oriented people


I know you read The Sartorialist, but could I interest you in Hel-Looks too? I love the Finns.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Running into your exes.


Because of surgery, have rekindled an old romance.


Post surgery.


I'm at home with my foot looking like this. My foot's taken such a beating. It's been cut open, sliced, bits have been removed, then sewn up again and put in this bandage. I move around like a woman of 120, ever so careful and slowly.

It's strange, but the surgery itself was quite pleasant, the doctor and nurses so agreeable.

I love being a parent.



Same kid, same mom, ten years apart. I thought I knew what motherhood would be like and it was the one thing I knew for sure I wanted in my life (besides a rewarding job, a smart/funny partner, enough money, lots of friends, travel and success) but it turned out to be so much better than I could imagine. Have kids!

Man, how boring is this post? It's like a "my kids are so cute" thing on facebook. so boring. why is this, the one thing I love so much and feel so strongly about, so boring?
I don't understand it.

Here's less boring stuff on mothering.

The dream of a summer cottage


A house all to your own. Flowers and berries in your garden. Butterflies flittering about in the warm summer afternoon. Lawns where you can read, play and have friends over all the time. A house with a past and a soul. A place that's yours, where you can live your dream life. That dream. I don't have it.

My dream of a getaway would be an apartment in Paris, New York, London. You can have the summer cottages. I love the cities. The apartment. I wouldn't even have to own it. When I think of the places I love most in my life, they're not the places I grew up or even lived in. They're parks. Trees.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Monday, March 12, 2012

Toronto?

Any Torontians here? Am trying to get hold of a book published by the Centre for Reformation and Renaissance Studies, Victoria University in the University of Toronto.

Might as well push for the book here, seems fantastic.
It's called Letters to Francesco Datini, translated by Carolyn James and Antonio Pagliaro.

In short, it's the letters from a medieval Florentine woman to her merchant husband.

Am falling over from fatigue and must prepare for surgery tomorrow.

hasta la vista, f**cking bunion!


am finally, after ALL THESE years, having hallux valgus surgery on my right foot!
I'm thinking some of you might delight in this fact since it will mean no more over-enthusiastic running posts for at least 6 weeks! congratulations, jogging hating readers!

have been blogging about bunions for more than 5 years now! some readers have been with me the entire time! the stamina! I love you!

Weird truth #4 or#5? - 10 000 HOUR RULE

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the 10 000 hour rule (spend that amount of time doing basically anything to get really great at it) and since I'm lazy, I wanted to figure out what I've already spent 10 000 hours on, enough to make me an expert.

I came up with:
Parenting
Reading
Commuting

Not very unique UNIQUE SELLING POINTS but man, I am so great at commuting, I rock commuting, no one, I SAY NO ONE is faster down the subway escalator than I am, NO ONE is fearlessly applying make-up on the train until the fraction of a second before the doors close again. I ACE COMMUTING.

I wish I had more valuable skills, but you won't find me fronting on the ones I've got.

Buses and trains bow down to me, because I'm the empress of commuting. Not only do I master the art of commuting but I actively love commuting. And as far as I understand, this last fact is what sets me apart from other commuters. They do it because they have to. I do it because I love it.

Dear life


I love when this happens. Cracking eggs into a bowl to make pancakes, life smiles back at you.

Moderata initiativ


Man lär sig alltid något nytt på Skansen.

Ps. Undrar vad som var mest traumatiskt för krabban - att lämna Zanzibar eller att färdas i den moderata badbyxan?

Saturday, March 10, 2012

I LOVE KELIS


If this video doesn't make you dance or want to dance I'm afraid you might be suffering from some kind of condition.

Warning. Above song might even have you singing along.
CALL THE POLICE THERE*S A MAD GIRL IN TOWN!
video
Why would anyone post such a ridiculous video of herself you may ask? I'm trying to extend the view of what a woman should or shouldn't do. I'm spreading the easy joy of singing along with a great song while still high from post-run bliss. You can do it too! It's free! You're welcome.

Friday, March 9, 2012

What is this? Help.


What strange sport is this? Represented at
evil Mussolini's Foro Italico.

Weird truth #3

It really upsets me when I see 3-year olds with longer hair than I've ever had or will have. I reach for mental scissors.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

My kind of inspirational poster!


Poster by Lars Fuhre. Buy it here, now.

Through a window of time

Today, walked by Pärlans kola. They're so good, those chewy toffee things.
Their store is really nice, and they wear Miu Miu-ish outfits.


Women at work!

Handmade!

International Women's Day


I love Billie. I love her voice, I loved reading her words, I love all of her. So it really confuses me when I see this album, with a picture of a woman from the 50s giving the impression that this is Billie. She looks like I've never seen Billie before! Not strange, because this isn't Billie. This is a woman named Lorraine Glover. It looks like she played the trumpet, but she's holding her husband's trumpet here. He was a musician.

Why is this picture the cover of a Billie Holiday album? Why wasn't Billie herself good enough?
Picture this: An album with the best of Frank Sinatras Original recordings, but on the cover, we have a picture of Doris Day's smiling husband with no further explanation. Perhaps he's holding her bra or something else belonging to her, not himself.

Why was Billie not good enough?

Lift your gaze from your phone


What's going on in there?

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Utmanar

Det här Parisa utmanar H&M till, det är ju mycket bra. Har nu en egen utmaning som jag ska se om jag kan lägga upp.

Läste om Romney och hans agenda skrämmer och deprimerar mig, medan det Obama vill och försöker göra är fortsatt inspirerande. Men det sorgliga är att de som inte ens går att röstar har mest att vinna på Obamas program.

En stormakt som USA påverkar hela världen. Invånarna i lilleputtmonarkin nära nordpolen Sverige tror sig dock alltid vet dock bäst, i alla lägen. Därför vill jag nu utmana våra storföretag H&M och IKEA att trycka ordet "Vote because you can, 10% discount on your next purchase if you do" på sina påsar. Hur allt kring detta löses rent praktiskt vet jag ej, men har full tillit till att logistikgenierna på respektive företag löser detta.


Den enda reklamfilm jag någonsin kunnat identifiera mig med

Weird truth #2

I recently saw Lord of the Rings (which won the trophy "most boring movie I've ever seen" award, ah! the things one does for the kids). Now whenever I read the name Santorum, I get it mixed up with Saruman. To me, they both seem to be very evil powerful men.

Unsurprising truth

I think I'll love this and you will too.

Weird truth #1

There are days when I miss rural Ohio.

Preaching to the choir

I often feel that what I write here, you agree with. Nothing wrong with that, it's a wonderful feeling. But don't you want to be surprised?

Today will try to come up with just one post that could surprise you, even upset you.
We'll see how THAT goes!

Fin blogg för alla


Tuesday, March 6, 2012

"The desire to be beautiful is a natural thing"


"The desire to be beautiful is a natural thing" states this ad.
Well, in a world where women control a marginal portion of the wealth (1%!!!!!!!! I SAY IT AGAIN: 1%!!!!), where our jokes are constantly stolen while we're simultaneously told we have no sense of humor, where we still can't vote in many countries, where daughters are given up or even aborted simply for being daughters, where our work is always, always valued less, where we're called sluts if we want to take command of our own reproduction and have to rely on landing a husband to survive and feed our families and where the most common way to describe a woman is to start with her looks, I think the desire to be beautiful could be rephrased into "The desire to conform to the current standard of beauty is an ancient and logic constructed need for many women".

That copy probably wouldn't sell as well. So this ad is yet another example of how often women are fooled into believing that beauty is our own responsibility and interest because...we're just like that, naturally.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Slut

I'm every woman and if you call one woman a slut, I'm with her and immediately against you. I hate the condescending intention. Hate it. With a passion.

Out running


As I was running to THE CHIFFONS, I was thinking this is how I'd like to describe the feeling of returning home from running:

You're 17. You look amazing. You're starting to believe you look amazing too, but even more important - you're filled with the emotion that ANYTHING can happen tonight. It's early summer. Your parent's are going away for dinner and you don't have to go with them cause you're going out with your friends and you know that the person you're so freaking interested in will be there.

You put on your favorite music. You dance a little while you're toweling up after showering. Your best friend texts you that he/she is on his way over. She/he arrives and brings whatever cold beers and snacks.

You hang out for a while and then you go out. And first you think THAT PERSON is not there, but then he/she arrives and looks your way and smiles and looks away and as the night progresses you're DRAWN TOWARDS EACH OTHER and talk and you feel like you're in command of the whole situation and then your friends want to leave and you say goodbye to that person, not because you don't want to hang out with him or her but because you want this whole ANYTHING CAN AND WILL HAPPEN-feeling to last and you change numbers and a few hours later you get a text saying "can't wait to see you again" and that night you sit in your window looking out at the weirdly bright Nordic summer night and you can't sleep but who cares cause you're so happy.

Yes. That's how running makes me feel. But these days I return to find kids and the boy, now man who once turned up at my moving in-party with an empty cigar box that has since been filled with so many pictures and memories.

Keep running.


On Sunday, the world was so incredibly gorgeous. Sadly doesn't really translate through these pictures, you'll just have to go running for yourself.

video

Saturday, March 3, 2012

YES! IT'S REALLY SPRING


In Swedish, run is called "springa" , giving it the spring feel we're experiencing today.
"Springa" is also one of the many Swedish names given to the female genitals, I believe the etymology here is "little spring/well".

So many great things connected to one little word!


Friday, March 2, 2012

A joke as old as oranges have been around

Blonde...

Or brunette?

When I see this pic


When I see this pic of MARION COTILLARD, I wonder:
WHAT WOULD I LOOK LIKE IF I WAS FAMOUS?!?!?!
I mean, the transition from stroller mom to this:
I've nailed the stroller mom look. Through years of refining my look and massive practice, I've mastered that shit. (somewhere, I have the pics to prove it, you'll just have to believe me)
The world should get to see my glam.
Dior, are you listening? You need some good news after the Galliano disaster.
I'm ready.
Hit me.

Ps. Cilla, Johanna, Parisa, Brita, klipper jag lugg igen (NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!) är det marions fel.