Thursday, May 26, 2016


I read this somewhere recently: If you only buy clothes that you feel are OK, then you'll end up with a closet of blah choices.

It struck a chord. I sometimes pretend I don't care so much about clothes but it's not true. I love clothes. Not all of them but some! It's ok to buy clothes you love. So much more ok than buying clothes that will just do.

I'll try to remember to post some of my wardrobe faves soon.
But first I need to work work work, sell our house and take care of myself, mom and Niki.
Above: Me an mom. I'm wearing new faves! Silk shirt and silk pants, both from Kerber.
They have a sample sale right now.

Friday, May 20, 2016

Favorite TV-character

I LOVE Constance Wu as Jessica in Fresh off the boat. Best comedienne ever. Timing, execution - all of it: immaculate.

PS. ALSO! if any of you know where she found this PERFECT GREEN VELVET dress that she wore to the Asian American Awards Unforgettable gala in 2015, let me know!!!

Best matched with: AWARD.

Selling our house in Sweden

Readers who've been with me for a while might recognize the setting

Friday, May 13, 2016

Help moving

Within a month, I will have moved three times. I need help!
Thankfully, Maja at my favorite moving company helped me set things up. 

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

New instagram-feed

I started a new instafeed, for pics taken with a camera. 

it's here, come join:

The ridiculous name is me being Phoebe from Friends. Did you know I am sometimes her? I am. Involuntarily.

It went down like this: 

We had a friend over who was looking at a pic we've puy up on our wall. 

Our friend said: That's a great picture, where is that from? 

I tried to recall when exactly I'd taken it and if I took it with my phone or my camera and slowly replied:

"Oh...I took it...with my camera".
and it sounded so ridiculous we both started laughing really hard.

Ps. I don't even think I did. I think I took that one pic with my cell phone. 

Stockholm in May - restaurant opening

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Word I hate

Tomboy. If you are a celebrity talking about your childhood, you were not a tomboy. You were a child.

Climbing trees, throwing rocks and running around aren't male characteristics, they are human characteristics often enjoyed freely in childhood. Thank you for reading and taking note, celebs reading this blog.

Monday, May 9, 2016

Being woman

Inside this person....

...there's always this person:

who we are, who we were, how much they are or aren't the same. And for those of us identifying as women  - our whole gender identity and the props that go with it. Not just for January Jones but for all of us.

Saturday, April 30, 2016

now they're too big to be picked up.

looking forward to grandkids.

chasing ferrante

I have trouble respecting the fact that Elena Ferrante wants to remain anonymous.

Wanting to put a face to the voice is an itch.

I'm not the respectful person I'd like to be.

I'm googling googling googling and now I've found the person that fits my take on the author.

Only trouble is my Elena is a few years younger than the Elena of the books.

I don't think she'd tweak her age in the books, they're too authentic in feel.

Instead, I tried to persuade myself that my ideal Elena perhaps tweaked her date of birth on her professional C.V because "women sometimes lie about their age".

steeping very low in this endeavor.

ps. also love this Elena quote on her potential male identity:

And, if there’s no author photo of a woman then the game is up: it’s clear, in that case, that we are dealing with a man or an entire team of virile male enthusiasts of the art of writing. 

sacrificing aspirations in the name of affections

This is a great quote that sums up about 95% of my working life. Only time I've felt completely undistracted from the joy and worries for my affections have been when I've worked in a different country than the one where my children happen to be.

Women, in all fields – whether mothers or not – still encounter an extraordinary number of obstacles. They have to hold too many things together and often sacrifice their aspirations in the name of affections. To give an outlet to their creativity is thus especially arduous. It requires a great deal of motivation, strict discipline and many compromises. Above all, it entails quite a few feelings of guilt. And in order not to cut out a large part of one’s private life, the creative work should not swallow up every other form of self-expression. But that is the most complicated thing.

from an interview with Elena Ferrante in The Gentlewoman

Sunday, April 24, 2016

Sade is forever. Love her always always always

So composed, talented, powerful amazing.

Joel & Wylie

4 months in

I keep waking up at dawn, thinking to myself "what a nightmare, I dreamed dad died".

Still can't believe it's really happened. I hope it never sinks in.

My life is currently lived in two tracks - one where dad will come back and one where he won't. I prefer first track, knowing full well that's not a reality. But it's my preferred reality. The other will win out by virtue of the actual reality. no rush.

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

"Everything happens for a reason"

People love saying "well, everything happens for a reason".

I could not disagree more.

In my experience, nothing seems to happen for a reason.

Things just more or less tend to happen, and then you have deal with them.

the reason, if it ever shows up, is more often than not, invented post-event by a creative, sometimes overly optimistic mind.

But I insist:

Nothing happens for a reason.

Sunday, April 17, 2016

Clothes that made the mysterious transition from daydream into my actual life

(though did return H&M blouse above)

(I love this dress. Love it. it's my goto LBD. it's from Filippa K)

This is my original sin dress with adam & eve, snake and forbidden fruit.

feeling sinful in an original way.

this dress is so pretty but it's also old and sadly, it's starting to show. but such a great cut and the cream crepe fabric is beautiful.

I once wore this on a train journey to a writer's workshop weekend. 

kerber on a model

kerber on a mom

kerber on a model

kerber on a mom. pencil skirt is actually very soft and comfortable. a miracle in itself.

Home office

lonely but cosy.

Friday, April 15, 2016

"So will you stay in Stockholm or go back to NYC - where will you live?"

This spring, Niki (our 8-year old) and I currently live in Stockholm while my 
husband and two older kids are in NYC. This is a less than ideal situation. 

So Niki and I will move back to NYC after summer (will reunite with other half of family fulltime starting in June). 

We have to move apartments because our landlady needs her apt back. It's ok. What now? Manhattan?

I love Stockholm too so am a bit torn.

But Stockholm is my longterm plan. Meanwhile, another year in NYC won't hurt. Just look at this pic, NYC in feb, a few years ago. 

If you've never been to Stockholm

it looks like this, right now.