Wednesday, October 7, 2015


wish I could tickle these two at this age too


Remember when Niki was this small? My whole body is aching to hold her again at that age.

Friday, October 2, 2015


I want to go skiing in Sweden and looked up some hotels. 

I want to go to there. 

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Reading Sally Mann's Hold Still

Reading Sally Mann's Hold Still, I keep thinking 
about my own kids in pictures and where my own boundaries lie. 

I do ask my kids for permission for every pic I post of them but then again, 
perhaps they will regret it? Or perhaps they won't. Are they old enough to know? Are my pics of them overstepping the boundaries?

Looking at Sally's (family) pics and reading her book, it seems as many of the portraits of her kids are self portraits by proxy, a time delayed fiction of her own personality as a child and in childhood. 

this pic here is niki right before going to bed at my parent's summer house. 
I slept right there in that bed as a kid, wearing that exact nightgown. And I do feel like this is not just a pic of Niki, it's just as much a self portrait of me at 7. 

I only need to look at it to remember the lightly damp and cold sheets at a house with no real heating, the smells of 100+ years of wallpaper and old paint, the sounds of ants in the walls and the wind rustling the leaves of the oak right outside, the weirdly bright Nordic summer night light in the Stockholm archipelago, the faint scent of flowers and grass drifting through the window left just a little open. The sound of waves hitting the shores beneath. 

I've been back every year as an adult, but I remember it clearly at 7. I remember having a body that size. the line between myself and my child becomes blurred but only to me. to others it's niki I'm sure. Except to, perhaps, my parents and others who saw me there, at that age.

So disappointed in pope.

I know it's naive but I thought this pope was even more different than he is.
I thought he'd be progressive also when it came to same sex marriage and planned parenthood.

But no.

Prioritizing meeting up with Kim Davis?

And supporting nuns fighting contraceptives?

My book went to Sweden's book fair

Wish I could have been there too with it!

Monday, September 21, 2015

I miss the trees so much

I miss the feeling of being in a treehouse just walking around. I love trees so much. It's 2:45, perhaps if I hurry I can get up to Central Park before I have to go back home again. 

This weekend, Anders and I are going on a short trip. He has a conference on Monday and I'm tagging along for Sunday before the conference starts.

We're having our own conference of sorts on Sunday.

We'll discuss our future in America. Present our respective views and hopes and perspectives. 

My keynote address will stress an intense need of being close/closer to trees. 

Two anniversaries

This year marks the 150th anniversary of Alice in Wonderland. 
Above the "real" Alice as a child. 

Ingrid Bergman was born 100 years ago. This pic was taken by her photographer dad, Justus Bergman.

Sunday, September 20, 2015

Niki's song - works for most women

Niki recently belted out a tune with words she put together herself.
I advice you to learn this song by heart and repeat it to yourself whenever you need strength.

The wording is a bit mysterious, but I feel it works.
Try it for yourself!

"I'm one scheduled woman in my business so don't you dare interrupt!"

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Can't wait for Ingrid Bergman - In her own words

While waiting for the movie to come out, will keep listening to the beautiful score:

Various Artists – Ingrid Bergman in Her Own Words (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)

Image result for Music from the movie Ingrid Bergman in her own words

If you have a Fujifilm - there's an app for that

There's an app for the Fujifilm that turns the phone into a remote control.
So great! no shaky hands!

Took these last night - there were so many helicopters over Manhattan.

Can you spot three in the second pic? And one between buildings in the first one? It's weird with the stars in NYC. I rarely see them. But the moon can be seen at times like here, in the first pic, before going into hiding as night fell for real.

Here's the link to the app

Sunday, September 13, 2015

There goes my baby, watch him as he goes

Dear today

Today was such a big day for Niki. She got her ears pierced. 
Has been asking for this for years. 

Showing Vanja the set she'll change to once the holes have healed sufficiently.

Thursday, September 10, 2015

I know Mick and Bianca always top looks list

But these!!! Seems like such a much more equal relationship too. I'll always love John for the music (can't listen to Julia without crying) but even more for going for such an interesting unique and strong individual like Yoko.

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

positive thinking taken to the extreme

Not quite there yet but am trying to assume this line of thinking: 

“I love my rejection slips. They show me I try.” – Sylvia Plath

On that same note I find it soothing to read negative reviews of books I've loved.  I find solace in how different opinions can be on the same work. Keep trying.

Ps. To clarify: I know Plath can hardly be summed up as a person radiating positive thinking. I mean only that that one sentence characterizes positive thinking taken to the extreme.

Friday, September 4, 2015

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Love this pic of Vanja and Wilda

pic by Aril.

You go, new Mrs Universe, Ashley Burnham!

I didn't even know the Mrs Universe pageant existed but now that I do, I do for great reasons!

“People think I’m too political for my first day as Mrs Universe. Did you really think I was going to just sit there and look pretty? Definitely not. I have a title, a platform and a voice to make change and bring awareness to First Nations issues here in Canada. I’m getting all this media attention and I’m going to use it to the best of my ability. I’m not your typical beauty queen. Look out . . . I have a voice for change and I’m going to use it!”

Pope and the holy year of forgiving the sin of abortion

The pope has declared a holy year, giving all priests permission that for one magical year, they can give women absolution for the sin of abortion.

What should be great news still makes me cringe. What's this fairy godmother deal with one magical year? And why still blame women? 

Where is the holy year of forgiveness for each and every man who has for whatever reason impregnated a woman and not stood by her and protected her during the painful decision of abortion, who has not protested the guilting of said women and comforted them against hate and scorn?

I like this pope better than all his predecessors and he might have to tread lightly for change but for this Swedish agnostic woman, it's still all weird.

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Book release

Yesterday I had a small release party in Stockholm for my new book
Nina & snöleoparden. Niki and I were so excited.

Ida was there.

Anna and I went to the same daycare so we've known each other since the 70s!

It was such a great night for me. I was so happy.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

What I've been up to: hanging out with my kids and my brother's kids

Cousins six days apart. 

Måns, who looks exactly like my brother used to.

I love Rut.

It's a very long break.