Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Dear third drawer down, I love your pillow case All you need in life by Lilli Hartmann.
It's like you say in your description:
All you need in life
a roof over your head
an apple tree in each direction of the sky
a sheep to keep you warm
a chicken for the eggs, obviously
a monkey to make you laugh
a ghost to make you cry
two horny bears
I'd might just add chocolate, wine, friends, family and a lover.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Dear tea lover, perhaps you're like me. Perhaps you're dreaming of that perfect cup, poured from the kind of design classic pictured above. Well, wake up and smell the coffee! Or rather, wake up and smell the wet wool lining. It looks great, but if you truly love tea, you're better off with a regular pot and cosy. -the end consumer
Monday, August 25, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
How many turd cups did you have in stock to begin with?
I can't tell you how charmed I am by your writing:
Brighten someone's Day! Says "MAY YOUR CUP ALWAYS BE 2 TURDS FULL"
(2 little turds sit in the bottom of the cup)
Warning: Not to be used for consumption of liquids.
You give bad taste a face. And a phone number that's really easy to remember.
1 877 NUT DUDE.
I'm not even going to get started on the truck nuts. But I know the world loves them!
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Dear Coca Cola, regarding your ridiculous "life as it should be" campaign, you know the one about how real men like tigers, motorcycles, women on all fours and beverages with artificial sweeteners?
I added a woman on two legs with a stroller and public transportation.
Life as it should be.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Dear German tourists, I love how you love Sweden. And I love how you embrace the concept of the allemansrätt. I just don't love how you look at us inhabitants like exotic species. Like ferrets, lemmings or moose. Peculiar, but kind of cute. In a natural kind of way.
Yes, we are weird because we insist on swimming naked during the summer. But you are weirder for not respecting the privacy that naked swimming demands. You fishing right next to our pier is uncalled for. Fish a little further away.
Yesterday, my brother couldn't take it anymore. He heard himself scream, from where he was in the water, in English: "you're fishing too close to our naked swimming point".
You obliged and moved a little bit away from the naked swimming point, but did not apologize.
We're still upset.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Dear prime suspect, I love how you responded to the accusation that your fingers matched the holes in this cake:
"But it looked so darn yummy!"
When I told Anders about this, he asked who the prime suspect was. My mom (60+) or Joel (3)?
And suddenly we had 2 prime suspects.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Dear cat owners, how about taking an actual mug shot of your cat. To have just in case. You know, so that when it runs away, you don't have to draw a pic that will doubtfully help anyone in identifying your beast.
Examples from our local Åland grocery store. artist unknown. One of the cats is described as being "social, cuddly and extremely lonely". How touching.