Friday, September 30, 2011

Dear folks

People tell you sad things about getting older, but no one ever warned me that I would GROW INTO AN OLD MAN. Or is it not age, but living in a society largely ruled by middle-aged white men?

I'm now at the point where I look at younger women and I find them ALL GORGEOUS. So gorgeous that I find it hard to believe that they can muster up some kind beauty hierarchy amongst themselves. How is it possible? Fat, thin, tall or short, I look at them and think "wow. gorgeous."

I'm turning into an old Italian man.
was not prepared for this, amore.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Bohemian bob cut, revisited

Are you pro or con? Don't worry, am only staring that weird way cause my Muse does.

Kontaktannonsen ligger ute nu

Eftersom jag är copy ger jag mig nu in i detta. Ni kan inte stoppa mig. Jag vill sälja den här varan, det här unga köttet.

Om du vill träffa en ung man, lite lat men smart, ej steril man som tidigare attraherat de vackraste av kvinnor (=han når viss standard, gör du?(talar till din tävlingsinstinkt(parentes i parentes!!!) )) kolla upp detta med Andreas. Era barn kommer antagligen få BRA HÅRVÄXT.

Om du "vinner" får du dessutom: tillgång till en stor släkt med STARKA KVINNOR som KAN BORRA.


How I love fall. Love it silly. I wish there were no seasons, just a permanent fall.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011


Last night - dining out with 3 other copywriters, it was like a live broadcast of a Scrabble game. To most of the world that sounds boring, right? NOT TO US. ALSO; I was a breach birth baby delivered right after a game of scrabble. It is my destiny to walk backwards (some would say ass-wards, not me) through life, thinking about words.

Once again am feeling like the luckiest person on earth. Went out yesterday and am going out again tonight. And tomorrow and rest of weekend get to stay home with my own people. WIN WIN!

Wow that really is the crappiest pic ever posted on the internets. You're welcome!

What kind of crisis is this?

On my birthday I was THIS CLOSE to cutting my hair into a BOHEMIAN BOB CUT.
But because it was my 40th birthday I decided not to listen to my impulse - you should never ut your hair in the midst of a divorce or on your 40th birthday (<---- perhaps the only words of wisdom you'll ever read on this blog).

But I keep thinking about that bob.
One of the main attractions of this haircut is the people that come with it, you know to fix it. On a daily basis.

Ps. Only idiots look at top picture and think "she looks fantastic, it must be the hair." -your idiot.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

asking readers for advice - paris

So I'm going to Paris with Vanja and now I'm turning to you for advice on hotels. It doesn't need to be luxurious, but needs to be clean and with a central location. Central as in we'd like to go to the Louvre and I hope Vanja will think it'd be ok to stop by the Merci store.

Any suggestions?

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Tänker på den här killen

Han kanske hade berättat för sina kompisar." Nu händer det, nu får jag mitt break. Fått ett stort jobb, för apoteket. Det här med att jag är lik en ung Matt Dillon (särskilt efter att jag körde Neulash på bryna)...kanske det äntligen lossnar nu. En fot in liksom." Och så blev det så här.

Hur har han det idag?

Ps. Nyfikenheten tog över. Och ja, tyvärr:

kändes därför lite skönt att se någon annan axla:
Tycker hon har ett fint utseende på den här bilden. Hon har dålig andedräkt, visst, men hon ger oss ett försiktigt leende ändå. En dålig andedräkt behöver inte vara slutet på trevliga saker som en höstpromenad till en ensligt belägen brygga, i regn. Eller så försöker apoteket säga att det är just sånt man får hålla på med i sin ensamhet, om man inte tar tag i problemet!

Friday, September 23, 2011

Next costume party I'm invited to.

I'll go as a tree.

not much of a cat person.

a matter of extreme importance

Went running to this and "Wreckless love" yesterday. Chills! Chills!

Person walking through fire who I'd walk through fire for, any day. Any day.

När du blir stor och googlar dig själv Joel. då kanske du hittar den här. tokig i dig. tokig.

Blouses part 2.

I never wear this, cause it's like you can't wear blouses like this unless you're 22 or Madonna.
I'm neither. It simply makes me feel old and tired and not like myself. A pity cause I like the color and the glass buttons and the whole idea of it. But no.

Thursday, September 22, 2011


I wish a wellfitting coat would simply descend on me. tell me if you stumble across any.
I've bought tons of coats and returned them. Do you like this one? Should I keep it? Have 30 days to decide. I hate looking for a coat, but my old one is falling to pieces, have worn it since 2005.Have changed the lining twice and even told Anders I've thrown it away, but I haven't really.
See how little Joel is?
Not even two. My arms ache to hold him again at that age, his little rounded tummy, the soft warm smell of his peachy cheeks. And Vanja, the giggle at 4,5, her amazing and constant food/toast artistry. It's not that I want to stop time, I just want to copy+paste a version of each age.

who the fuck am I kidding, I'd five anything to stop time. just a little.

If you have an organic member

Make sure your wrapping is fair trade before you penetrate.

ps. Too many possibilities here for any copywriter!
Put your dick in the organick, Putting conscience in your condoms, When there's loving to be made, make sure it's nothing but fair trade.

Counteracting all the beautiful pics people take with their talented cameras

The world is so much more interesting than just pretty pictures. Like yesterday, I stumbled across a place where old toilets hang out and chat.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Monday, September 19, 2011

If I were a boy

Have booked trip to Paris for me and Vanja. Am planning to go see Jean Fouquet, top pic, but perhaps there are other things a 10-year old would rather see.
Jean, however, is always an inspiration to me, with his razor sharp renderings of people and places. If I were a man/boy I would perhaps skip the contemporary bearded look and set myself apart by mimicking Fouquet's St Stephen, with his bleeding skull and monk hair do. I'd might even carry a rock and a book, who knows? After all, I wore a fez all through 9th grade.

Ps. I think he'd pronouce it faw-kay, but feel free to call him fuck-it, if it makes it any easier for you to remember this wonderful artist.

At the bank

Because Joel is six years old, he couldn't keep his fingers off my internet bank gizmo=broke it. So I had to go to the bank, and wait in line. But I was rewarded! Because when it was my turn, I was served by TWO people, one Freida Pinto lookalike with a "New on the job" pin and one serious young man who was showing her how to do everything right.

I had to sign a paper to get a new gizmo. The senior employee showed Freida where she should stack such important papers. He showed her two green plastic bins.

"In this one, we save papers that we keep for 10 years. And in this one (pointing to identical green plastic box) we keep papers that should be saved for all eternity". He said it like all eternity was an everyday term. I considered the size of the plastic bin, since I too, would like to be kept in a safe place for all eternity.

Sadly, it was too small.
All eternity. That's a very long time. I have massive respect for the little green plastic boxes. Soldier on into the future, brave boxes!

Hoppas den är på väg hem till mig.


It was this good.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Dear dog people

On our way to the bus, we saw this very doglike stick on the ground. Joel said it was a miniature dachshund fossil and then gave me its very plausible latin name. Is he onto something?

A great place to eat hard boiled eggs

Which is exactly what I did. Did I bring a hardboiled egg on my 80's bike? You can bet I did. You will too. I'm a fire starter.

Dear person who owns this car

So, you bought a car. You bought a BIG ASS car. You bought a car so big it dwarfs not only other silly little cars but also boats. So why are people still laughing at you?
Cause you can buy a big car, but a higher power with a sense of humor gave you and 998 other people in this country the kind of license plate you have.

Happy driving!

ps.yes, click on image to see what I'm talking about.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Dear fashion people

The fashion world is so inventive. They take fake stuff and still manage to make the fakes luxurious, simply by slapping on a french word. Fake fur - not so alluring, but Faux fur? Yes please. This leads me to an important announcement. I am 3/4 faux wolf.

What would 4/4 wolf look like? Like this. Nothing faux about this specimen.
Photo: Joel Sartore

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

For the love of local stores

You know they'd never put up a "dad picked these chanterelles"-sign at a superstore. I love this sign. But not whole heartedly. It's annoying too, in a way I can't analyze.

Like the super organic store I go to where they've posted their opening hours for every day but Sunday. On Sunday it only says "Rest".


Om man ändå vore troende

tänker att det skulle vara så här. Ström/ledning.

Mistake nr 1

Here is a recent mistake!
A very very very white, 100% silk blouse with a label that reads "dry clean only". There are women in this world who can eat, drink, laugh, live while looking precious, pristine, perfect. I am not one of them.

(Every time I dream about being one of those women, I can hear John Travolta's "don't make me laugh, ha ha ha" as in the end of this clip. Don't miss it, FOR THE WORLD!):

As I was purchasing that blouse up there, I thought to myself: when I wear it, I must not drink, eat or have a good time. It will ruin the blouse.

The weirdest thing about that is not those thoughts but that I still went ahead and bought it. Why would anyone do such a stupid thing? Many many women do it, daily.

Below: a real world publicity still. There's a point in posting unflattering pictures of oneself. It makes people go "you're so much prettier in person" instead of the other thing people often tell me: "You photograph so well". We all know what that means. Did not live up to expectations, created by vain posting of pictures taken at advantageous angles.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Tomorrow - more mistakes.

Tomorrow I will share/show a mistake I keep repeating year after year after year.
I keep buying ladylike blouses, hoping that they will somehow transform me into a lady. In the fitting room, I say to myself "this will look great in a publicity still". You can laugh now, I am! Publicity still for WHAT?!?!

But when the occasion arrives, which it might, one day, I will be prepared with ladylike blouses amassed over 20 years.

I'll show you one of them tomorrow. Then, in a way, they WILL HAVE SERVED THE INTENDED PURPOSE.

Blogging. It's really about turning your life exactly the way it should be.

Monday, September 12, 2011


If you're from the middle ages, long skirt wearing part of the world (no, not implying those two are the same) or simply follow fashion, take the elevator, not escalator.

Det mest förvirrande jag sett

Den andra veckan i varannan udda månad. Det snurrar fortfarande. Nästan lika märkligt som att de satt en bild på Stefan Pagreus barn med Björn af Kleen på dörren.

Nej nu ser jag! VARJE udda månad. Då så!

"Gift, framgångsrik, lycklig med en massa barn!"

I dag mer relevant läsning än någonsin.

Friday, September 9, 2011

If you run and have boobs

I suggest investing in a shock absorber. It's the best running bra I've tried so far.
That link is for the Swedes. Rest of you, google on you crazy diamonds.

Thursday, September 8, 2011


Not only did my friends surprise me with dinner on Saturday, they also bought me a dress and A MARNI SCARF!!!! It seems they see a classier me hiding within me than I do.

The milestones of life

(Caption: Pompous asshole)
So, I turned FORTY yesterday, or as I like to call it FORTE (pathetic and funny at the same time)!
I hadn't thought all that much about it though it's easy to see all this running and pilateing might very well be some kind of crisis, who knows.

Anyways, I tried to look in the mirror this morning to see if I was somehow different, the way I've looked in my own eyes to search for change after changing schools, moving to another country, giving away the delicate flower of my womanhood to a Peruvian man, getting pregnant (not the same time those two), landing my first job, getting my first paycheck, separating, losing friends, gaining weight, losing weight, getting married, getting my driver's license, giving up coffee, running my first 10 k, taking up coffee. You know. Milestones.

I thought I would perhaps look into my eyes and find a more mature, more patient, more wise to the ways of the world- person.

But no. Still the same.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Am really away but just had to stop by and say

Am listening to this while I work. How much do you love this cd-cover? It's like a 16th century hedonism resort ad. If you're not down with symbols in art, the dog is often present to represent loyalty. Or sexual pursuit. I think we can assume which one the artist is alluding to here. Loyalty to lute music!