Friday, September 26, 2008

Dear pre-school

Dear pre-school, thanks for making such nice excursions and for telling both parents and kids to pack the backpacks with stuff needed for a successful outing. Joel and I packed his bag with an orange, a thing to sit on and a hat, just like you requested. Then I went to a different room to check on baby Niki. When I returned, the backpack was suspiciously heavy.

I opened the zipper to find
  1. A toy poodle
  2. A car
  3. Ronald McDonald in a car
  4. A hippo
  5. A zebra
  6. A Kung Fu panda
  7. A purple camera
  8. A rubber duck
  9. A bouncing ball
  10. A cow
  11. A dinosaur
  12. A book on sharks
Joel tells me you said he needed to pack all those items for your 1-hour outing. Is this true?
-the end consumer

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Dear Spårvägsmuseet, again

Dear Spårvägsmuseet, thanks for being the best place on earth to bring my kids to any given afternoon. The 7-year old plays happily with the 3-year old. The baby is blissfully happy, covered in mashed banana.

-the end consumer

Dear Esther Williams

Dear Esther Williams, my swimsuit arrived today. Because I read your autobiography, I know you're no stranger to profanities so let me tell you, I FUCKING LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!
As you can see, I love it so much, I wear it in the workplace. So far, no one has objected.
Perhaps because my colleagues also bought and love your pieces.

How often does one order something over the web and when you get it, it's even better then you expected?

I love you Esther, will now shop a bikini too.
THANK YOU. Buying bathing suits is the worst thing in the world. Unless you buy Esther's.

-the end consumer, now ready for Portugese trip

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Dear K-I-N-D Deluxe knitwear

Dear K-I-N-D, I'm an end consumer in Sweden, hopelessly devoted to your brand ever since I bought my beloved K-I-N-D cardigan in Spring of -07 at Libertys.
But it's so hard to find any KIND cardis or sweaters where I live.

I'd love to see the new collection
Do you have a presskit or a catalogue?

I pray you do.

Best wishes, Emi Guner, stockholm

more KIND here.

Psst, there's even more here, and you can BUY IT.

Hands off the dress, I'm buying it!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Meanwhile, in Finland

Dear readers, you all know I wrote 400 letters to Marc Jacobs. Well do you know what? Now Koko is writing to me! I'm so happy about this. I'll get to know Koko AND Helsinki. So will you if you read it.

Only two posts there so far, but funny.

Clicking on one of Kokos links, I also found this series of pictures, which I can't get enough of. I love them.
The composition. The drama. The drunken diva and the serious puter geeks.

Have you been there? I have.
I've been the diva AND the geek. I'm every woman.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Dear Police office

I went to the police office today with 9-month old Niki today to get her a passport. You needed to take pics of her. This is how you did it:

First you put Niki in a childseat in front of the camera. Then you brought out a fishing rod made of bamboo. Only instead of a bait, there was a green plush dinosaur and a few strands of plastic beads in happy colours. You dangled the dino in front of my child and snapped the pic. I was so impressed by this unexpected level of creativity at the police station!

There were 12 booths, with 12 clerks. I had to ask if you all had a fishing rod each. You said "No. We all fight over it".

I forgot my camera at home. It was such a lovely scene. I thank you for bringing so much joy into my life. And to that of my child.

-the end consumer

Could this be true?

Let's hope it is!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Dear readers

Dear readers, run with me.
Starting a new challenge tomorrow.
come join if you want, it's fun.

Run in the the comfort of strangers as you run all by yourself.

Fast greetings

Friday, September 19, 2008

Dear Wonderwall

Dear Wonderwall, thanks for letting your nice partner Andreas stop by the office today. He is a handsome man, who looks nothing like he does in the picture above. He looks so weird there, I laughed for a good 5 minutes .Perhaps it's funny only if you know what he really looks like. Like a young Ryan O'Neal or a younger Greg Kinnear. The last thing I said when he left the office was "I'll post you on the blog. I'll pick the most flattering image". I flat out lied. Sorry!

If you don't think this is funny, check out Wonderwall instead. Buy stuff. Then come back here.

Dear daughter

This one's for you. Courtesy of Hello Kitty Hell - One man's life with cute overload.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Dear Laura Mercier

Dear Laura Mercier, in my mission to be an involved end consumer, I am often upset and disappointed. But I have to say I've never regretted buying anything labeled with your name.

Highlights include:
The brush set
The signature collection book (similar to this)
The scented candles
The creme brulee hand creme
And of course, Eau de Lune

I love it all.
The end consumer highly recommends Laura Mercier.
Everyday, the end consumer feels a little luxurious because of LM products. They cost a lot, but they add more than a silver lining to your day. They add a golden shimmer to your life!

Ok, I'll stop there, I'm going overboard.

But before I stop, I give you a different, happy pic. I wonder what SJP is saying. I think she might be blabbering on about LM adding golden shimmer.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I can only invite 998 more people. Today.

Dear Yahoo!, Thanks for believing I have tons and tons of friends. And tons. And for thinking that perhaps tomorrow, I can invite another 1000 people to my private mailing list.

Dear Madeleine Peyroux

Dear Madeleine, your music is the perfect music to work to.
thank you!

-the end consumer


Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Facebook users

Dear Facebook users, join the LFTEC network.
I'm not sure how I will use it but use it I will.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Dear readers

Dear readers, we're getting close now. Soon, the end consumer will have received more than 100 000 unique hits. Isn't it great!

There's like 40 people that come here to read. The other 99 960 people came by to see Anne Hathaway. Thankyou Anne!

Dear iittala

Dear iittala, lasting design against throwayaism. That's a yayism.
-the design loving end consumer.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Dear cloud

Thanks for getting caught.

Dear bear

Thanks for setting a clean example

Dear skansen

Thanks for being such a quick gateway to the past.

Dear cloud

Thanks for flying into my mouth.

Dear skansen

I hear your fried herring tastes just like chicken. It must be the other other white meat. A nordic tuna - chicken of the sea for you and me.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Dear baby

when will this urge to kiss you all the time ever stop?

Dear local store

Dear local store, I never shop at your place.
You're right by the more renowned Pressbyrån. You sell the same stuff as they do. Perhaps you're cheaper. You should be, since for one thing, you always have yesterday's news at your store front. Literally. Yesterday's headlines right next to Pressbyrån's fresh ones.

It's kind of comforting really. When it feels like life is just flying by, I pass by your store. There, it's still yesterday. How you make money, I have no idea. I've never seen anyone choose you over Pressbyrån.

keep going little store. keep hanging on to yesterday.

Dear strong

Thanks for always being there. Incredibly cheap too.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Dear Mrs. Miller

Dear Mrs Miller, that is one heavy secret.
-the end consumer

Dear library

Dear library, thankyou for taking a small step into the future. Look, here's Niki in front of the media jukebox, a contemporary device letting users upload audiobooks, feature films, documentaries, language courses and more to their iPods and USB-sticks.

I brought home a documentary about a crazy count.
Every day is documentary day at our house. Yesterday we watched Surfwise, thanks Clara for the tip.

Everyone else, get to know the Paskowitzes.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Dear readers, it's my birthday!

Yesterday, it was my birthday. Since I am a professional end consumer, you might wonder what such a person wishes for, when birthday comes along.

It might seem like an end consumer would wish for the best boots, jeans, luxury travel or food items around, knowing so much about current competition on the various markets.

But what I wished for this birthday was different things. Things I've never seen on a wish list. I wished for:

  • Someone to just appear and clean my fridge.
  • My feet to be narrow.
  • My kids to eat their breakfast in less than 40 minutes.
  • A shower close to my work.
  • Headlines saying "mortgage rates going down, way,way down!"
  • That our car would suddenly be free of the following probs (sub wish list):
  1. That the euro Joel put in the cd-slot would evaporate into thin air, making the cd-player fully capable of playing music again. Also, that would mean we would not have to pay hundreds of euros to get rid of one euro.
  2. That the car would stop making a cute little jump every time you start the engine.
  3. That the warning lamp saying the breaks don't work would turn off since we've had the car thoroughly checked by pros and there's nothing wrong with the breaks, but try telling that to a potential buyer.
  4. Would someone just go ahead and steal the car, please.
  5. That the backseat would suddenly grow to fit our kids.
I got nothing on my list. But you can't stop me from looking at the bright side of things, I'm a copywriter, that's how I make my living!

Instead I got what I couldn't even dream of:

  • A perfect autumn walk with baby Niki.
  • A chocolate cake madeand decorated by Vanja.
  • An out of this world self esteem booster by Aymeric. THANK YOU AYMERIC!
  • Perfect running gear by Anders. Thank you Anders!
  • A dinner by Björn and Frida. Thank you Björn and Frida!
  • A dinner by mom and dad. They also offered me an Aalto vase, but I sadly declined. At least for a few years. Joel would have it in pieces in minutes.
  • Kisses and hugs from Joel.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Dear djurens bok

Thanks for providing us with hours and hours of entertainment. Today's favorite was the tagghaj, a shark. Survival of the fittest plays out strongly in the womb of the female tagghaj as the embryos eat each other until only 2 survive. The horror.

Dear lidingö tidning

Reading you is like spying on the rich. In a different century.

For those of you who are not fluent in the most beautiful of languages, the headline reads:
"Guest suffers injury cause by cannon ball at the wedding."

I love how they write "the wedding" like we were all invited.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Dear readers

the end consumer is tired.
and broke.

but happily in possession of new clothes gratuite, thanks to the wonders of the world.
Should that go without the end e?

I almost got a well paid job as voice, but turns out I sound too young.
On Sunday it's my birthday and I'm not really all that young. My voice is younger than the rest of me. Perhaps because I started using it too late?

Am now going home to be with my children.
Have promised Vanja a Hello Kitty alarm clock.
This, she says, will revolutionize our mornings. Am so intrigued to find out if this is in fact true.


Dear Moschino

Dear Moschino, I love you.
For this.
Imagine how many people were involved in the creation of this. And imagine being the owner.
"What should I wear today, hmmm, oh I know, the alligator suit with teeth!"
Representing responsible consumers the world over, I would like to know:
Can I wash it in the machine? Warm cycle?


Dear Kiehls

Thanks for having such insight in the life of shopping moms. Thanks for providing the children with a motorcycle and exotic chambre separee for the invalids, sorry for those who can not yet walk. I thank thee by shopping, just like you'd cunningly yet benevolently calculated.
My top product today is your very expensive lipgloss/balm in shade Golden berry.