Sunday, October 26, 2008

Dear people who can't say no















Like Dorothy Parker once correctly noted, there are people who know 18 languages but can't say no in any of them. If you're one of those people you can buy a NO from me. I'm getting really good at saying no to all sorts of things. Especially on behalf of other people.

Just tell me your situation (emi@lovegun.net) and I'll craft a NO for you. My NOs are top quality and long lasting. I have several satisfied customers already.

In the future, I will charge a few bucks/NO, but right now I'm looking for pilot cases and might write you a rejection/declination for free.

Be it a job, a date, a marriage you are no longer interested in, I can help you pull out.
Say yes to NO!

-e

Ps. Yes, that's me teaching 10-month old Niki the power of NO. It's never too early to teach your kids to say no. (Though there are times, especially when they're around 3, when you wish they'd try a few yes's as well. )

4 comments:

  1. I like it that you can say no. I have been practicing. But in your picture, you look angry. I think it's good to practice saying no without even losing your cool - looking graceful the whole time. But I get so worked up trying to say no, that I usually look angry too. oh well!

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  2. I need to say no to charities. I spend lots of my time hiding from nice old ladies who want me to canvass for the Diabetes Fund, the Cancer Fund, the Heart Fund, the Fund Fund--which means going door to door and asking my neighbors for money. I am not only shy, I also have big issues about money and asking people to give some to me, even if it is a good cause, is excruciating. So I always say yes to the old ladies, then find some increasingly bizarre excuse for not going out after all: pneumonia, missing hamster, amnesia, missing hamster WITH amnesia. It would be best if the sweet old ladies just found someone else but they are persistent on top of being sweet and old.

    So I need a polite, firm and absolutely bullet-proof NO that I can use at least four or five times a year, regardless of season or disease.

    Thank you Emi--the Christmas poem you wrote for a few years ago was so good that my sister has it on her mirror (although she never did wear the sweater I gave her), so I have great confidence in your abilities.


    Laurie

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  3. L, it's not as hard as you think. As usual, the best solution is the "kill them with kindness"-approach. Here is your no:

    "So you're asking me to canvas? What a nice idea. Unfortunately I do not currently have the time to make such a great contribution for worthy causes as you do. However I love what you do and would like to contribute money to your organization. Do you have a brochure or should I look up the website?"

    if you don't feel like giving money, use this no instead:

    "So you're asking me to canvas? What a nice idea. Unfortunately I do not currently have the time to make such a great contribution for worthy causes as you do. But I love what you do. Keep up the good work!"

    if they persist, say:
    "Sorry, but no" with a smile."
    over and over.

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I welcome any comment, so happy to hear from you.