Thursday, June 27, 2013

Last Friday in Sweden for a LONG time.

will miss this: walking niki to daycare. 
These are such bittersweet times. Sweden in June is always hard to handle for many of us. The dark and cold last for so long, then suddenly (if you can call months of waiting suddenly) the world is embraced in a delicate green shroud, smelling of violets, roses, jasmine, lilies of the valley. The sky is every color, the sunsets blows your mind every night.

When I was little, my mom used to play Billie Holiday, Vivaldi and Buffy Saint Marie on the record player.  I loved them all but then she also played Eric Satie's Gymnopedies and I would tell her she had to shut it off. She would ask if I didn't like it and I had to tell her the truth: I thought it too beautiful, couldn't stand it. Sweden this time of year is the same.

Today I'm dropping my kid off at daycare for the LAST time. I've been dropping off and picking up kids at daycare since 2003. It's what I do. No more. They're all grown up. Last night was also the last night the kids sleep in our house for at least two years. Anders and I will stay for a few nights but the kids will sleep at my parents' while we finish packing up and cleaning.

I feel like I'm so so ready and then again not ready at all for this next step. I'll miss my family so much.
Dad turned 70 on Wednesday. My brother and I took mom and dad out for dinner - my first family. We never really see each other just the four of us any more. Do you? Do you hang out with just the people in the family you were born into? It's so special, if you're lucky a time warp of love.

Mom and dad 1971

Mom and dad 2013.

Yesterday cleared out my office, found this pic from when I was 16.  
I'm flexible. It's really not that useful though. Better to have a flexible mind.