Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Embracing or at least acknowledging shitty characteristics

Need to take a close look at my shitty sides in order to be a more whole person.
Trying to find some sort of core. Am this, not that and so on.
love, warts and all etc. 
how do you do it?
help please. 

have to work on:

too eager to please
always exagggerrrrating
interrupting conversation (hoping everyone else thinks they're in the midst of an Italian movie dinner scene too! Caution: They do not. )
what? at times a poor listener
net junkie
too independent
too dependent
(yes, both are true)
judgmental (though hide it well)
low alcohol tolerance
poor lier

by suppressing less flattering sides have lost essential parts of my being, becoming too split, not in touch with real thoughts and real feelings.

too split, like this. seeing both sides is great but not at the expense reaching any real conclusion at all.

Would like to increase/emphasize: 
Original thinking
Better understanding of good and bad in own writing and ideas - have been doing this for 20 years now, why is this part still so hard? I like it most when it's unpolished/real/unexpected. 
Or, I do know what I like. I just have trouble believing other people will like it too.