Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Dear St Tropez, maker of tanning products

ST. Tropez Gradual Tan in Shower
Dear St. Tropez, as a person who tend to shy away from the sun I have pale skin. I bruise easily and mosquitoes LOVE me. As a result, I have white legs with lots of bruises and bites.

But I am also vain and thought I'd like to show off my legs. Recently, I've been told by a few people that I have great legs. I've never given them much thought but since I don't drive and love walking, I use these legs a lot. Sometimes I even use them to run.


But I digress. 
I'm writing to you because I spent a lot of money on your new Gradual shower product. 
In the past 7 days, I've used it 7 times, to build a gradual tan. 
But it doesn't show at all!
My legs are just as pale, bruised and bitten as before. 

You're turning me into one of these people I have little patience with in stores: 
dissatisfied beauty shop customers. I feel it's hard to contain dignity while complaining about a product supposed to give me a fake tan. But I shall do so. 

I will try to return your product today. 
disappointed greetings
-emi

IMPORTANT UPDATE
Product has now been returned and I have been fully reimbursed. The disappointed end consumer is now more content. Especially since a magazine writer friend of mine said she had 7 unopened tubes of self tanner I could have if I wanted them.