Thursday, December 15, 2011

A few words on grief

I hate 2011. It's easily been one of the worst years of my life. Reading this blog, you probably couldn't tell this year's been hell as I don't blog grief and sadness. I don't mind people who do, it's just not for me. Last week I was at a dinner party where we talked about 2011 and our hopes for 2012.
I'd barely begun talking about 2011 when I broke down crying like,
like I don't know, I'm trying to remember someone in a film bawling like that. Toni Collette perhaps? Meryl Streep? Julianne Moore?

I lost it. And I carry all that grief around every day, it's not over yet.

The one thing that's really helped with the grief and sadness (besides family and friends) has been going to Pilates. Twice a week. At 8 in the morning. I love it.

I used to think buying things made me happier, but then I noticed that it was the buying, not the owning that seemed to do it for me and how ridiculous is that? Consumerism at its most laughable state. So then proceeded to buy stuff, only to return the items and that worked until...I didn't have the money or credit even to purchase and return stuff.

So these days I just try stuff on now, get my luxury fix, then walk out the store. It's almost the same. Almost. Kid you not. Bonus: You'll never have to beat your self up over wearing this while eating a hotdog, burger, falafel or other food likely to spoil whatever you're wearing.

Dress from ACNE, 2995 SEK. Or zero cost if you simply put it on, take it off and walk away.