Sunday, February 28, 2010

Dear Volvo

Dear Volvo, your new campaign celebrating pedestrians, cheering "Long live the pedestrians" leaves this pedestrian not grateful, but annoyed. While it's nice that you say you care about us, because your new car S60 comes with a pedestrian detection system with automatic full on braking should the driver fail to detect the pedestrian on his/her own, there are many other things we wish for.

For instance, that the drivers would care enough about pedestrians to try to detect us for themselves for instance. I have an idea to improve your invention. A device that turns cellphones off when driving. Just last week, I (and my 2-year old in stroller) was almost hit by a car because the driver used both hands and all his attention to phrase a text on his cell phone.

Also, using long dead celebrities to sell new products always upsets this end consumer. They never get a chance to approve their endorsements. Also think it's weird you use dead pedestrians to illustrate your message of Long Live Pedestrians.

PS. Just got a call from a friend whose 2-year old ran out into the street this very morning. My friend said your pedestrian detection system sounded fantastic. And I do to. I just want drivers to be even more focused on their driving as well. But perhaps that's out of your control.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Dear home staging company

I see you added your special touch! To me, nothing is more 2009 than this bunch of tall grass inexplicably placed within the laundry machine's comfort zone.

Dear Jumperfabriken

Today Bea came to the office dressed in one of your dresses. So beautiful. I went straight to your website now want it all. In fact, it sparked a desire in me to somehow become famous so that you would one day want to sponsor me with clothes! I'll try to make it happen. We all want to become famous for our own reasons. Mine? To be a real sweater girl.

Dear Gillette

I know you spend sums on marketing equalling many small countries total GDP, but I'll add a campaign of my own here, free of charge!

Yesterday I tried your new Venus Embrace 5-bladed disposable razor. And while embracing a razor is a weird image for anyone, I was stunned by the gentle action of your product. For a while I thought I had forgotten to remove a safety cap, so smooth and gentle was the shaving! And no nicks or cuts! Thank you Gillette!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Dear Winter

You're doing terrible things to my mind. For example, when I first saw this image from troubled Athens, my first thought was "wow, it looks almost warm in Athens, those guys in the background are walking around in t-shirts".

Dear Pottock Prints

Dear Pottock Prints, am so loving your dead trees wallpaper.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Dear Posh

We both like Marc Jacobs, have three kids, or rather 2 and a superhero/transformer. Let's do lunch some day. I could tell you where to get a better fitting transformer dress that also comes with headwear. You could tell me...lots.

Dear stock photography company

I love the pictures you've chosen for your categories. Fashion is weird as usual, a head turned away, covered in gauze. Men, those free and happy creatures are out running in nature, enjoying life and feelings of EXUBERANCE (joyously unrestrained and enthusiastic) while women, as we all know, are smiling in a non-threatening way, tilting their blonde heads just so as if listening and appreciating every little word you say.

dear cold country

The other day it was 22 below. Celsius. Even in Fahrenheit, it was below 0. -7 to be specific. We're on our knees with this cold.

The subways are crammed, everything's a bit more chaotic.
As I entered a packed subway, I heard to friends saying goodbye to each other.

Since they were swedes, their chosen words in parting were "Vi hörs" which roughly translates to "Let's hear from each other".

In English, as you know, preferred words in equivalent situations are "See you".

I now wonder - is this difference in tradition and our nations respective preferred sense - hearing on our part, seeing on yours, due to our difference in temperature?

I'd love to see people to, but when it's -22, we all know phone calls are more likely that running into each other, scantily clad and happy at an ice cream stand.

ps. Staying in touch is out of the question in a sub zero context. GLOVES ON!

Dear kids

I love making chocolate cake for you while you cheer for me in your bathing suits.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Dear mr jet

Dear Mr Jet, your refusal to look for trips for families with more than 4 people is weird.
How rigid are you? Annoyed greetings from the end consumer with 3 kids and no patience.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Dear Kevin, Bernard

Just saying, when they make the movie about you, Bernard, Kevin will come to mind.

Dear last night

Met up with Lisa, Kalle, Maja, Malin and her man, Emil, aka the Dove Man.
We talked about funny/happy funerals - do they exist? And other important questions such as Tutankhamen's incestuous parents and club foot.
Wow those are some terrible pics up there. They all looked fantastic but who cares? Looks are so 2007.

Dear secret society

Dear secret society, thanks for yet another incredible evening.
Here you see famous foodie Lotta Lundgren together with Karin "always thinking about food" Hagman. They are both turning their attention to Petra who was with us by way of Skype, all the way from LA. This is Petra together with a woman who loves beer.

And this is our lovely hostess Dragana. What a night. A night to remember for sure.

Dear miniature mexican wrestlers

Thanks for stopping by!

Dear life health food chain

Your "discover Omega-3" campaign doesn't work on me the way I think you wanted it to.
-the end consumer, who used to like fish

Dear daughters

Of all the things I want you to know, I want you to know this the most:

Don't buy into the idea that the most important thing for a girl/woman is to be "discovered".

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Dear Ava, child of Hugh Jackman

I accept this most recent pic of you as a challenge to find something similar in the history of art. GAME ON!

Monday, February 15, 2010

Dear mouse in my parents house

Dear mouse, you ate all the crispbread that used to be in this basket, then filled it with your favorite pasta from the pasta boxes, carrying each macaroni through that little hole before your deed was discovered. Good news: We are impressed by your industrious nature. Bad news: You'll have to find some new way of providing for yourself and your family.

Dear Lidingö Bibliotek

Nä, där ska den inte stå.

ps. Jo det skulle den tydligen! Sinnes!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

dear sister I've never had

The Cholmondeley Ladies, Tate Collection
If you existed, this is my dream about how close we'd be.

Joel and I played with the thought. Ah, to have two of him!

Friday, February 12, 2010

Dear girls out in snow

You shouldn't just sit there.

What we've been doing all day

Dear 15th century woman in painting.

Wow did your boobs sit in weird places back then. Did they hate each other?
Congrats on perfect orbs though.

dear painter from the past

it's ok. many of us have never seen a real lion either.

Ps. Kylie, take that man's fancy "Can't get you out of my head"-robe and dance for us.

dear old man

man, I know that feeling!

Posted by ShoZu

dear painter from the past

Joel and I think your art has stood the test of time. nipple eyes! also meant to ask you: do we see an actual vagina dentata here?

dear ava, child of Hugh jackman

are you also a fan of early netherlandish paintings? is this the feeling you're after?
you win, ava.

Read with me

Would you?
I'm currently reading/soon about to read:

Morality Play by Barry Unsworth

The Likeness by Tana French

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

He's been ill, but his spirits are fine

Yesterday, Joel asked me what noone has asked me in 20 years or so:

"So, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

Me: I don't really know yet, but I kind of love what I do - make stuff up. And you?

Joel: Police Officer!

Dear winter, aren't you done yet

It's been a crap winter.
It's been beautiful and wonderful and white, but the kids...have not been well.

It started back in fall with chicken pox.
Then Joel contracted both mycoplasma and borrelia.

Then Vanja broke her arm.
Then Niki and Joel fell ill again.

It's never ending .
It's dark. The snow makes everything a struggle.
We've never longed for a vacation like right now.
Just a place that requires no winter clothing. A place in the sun.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Dear family

I spent a lot of time yesterday making homemade chocolate icecream. Unfortunately you didn't like it that much.

Anders said: It has a weird burnt taste.

Vanja: I think it's tart. Tart chocolate!

Joel: Why didn't you make strawberry instead?

strangely you agreed on one thing:

All of you: Why did you make so little?

Dear son

Dear son, yesterday you asked

"can you take me to the hairdresser?"

"of course", I replied (especially since you've only been twice in your life)

then you surprised me

"great, cause I'd like to get my hair dyed".

Thursday, February 4, 2010

dear dad

You just called to say you still had my keys in your pocket after letting the kids into the house yesterday. You were far away from home. In a place my keys have never been before. I feel happy for them. Who wouldn't like some unexpected adventure!

dear apple

When you designed the iPhone, did you think about us up here in the North, where it's so cold we can't take our gloves off to type on the touchscreen? You know what people do instead?
We use the tips of our noses.

Dignity may have been lost in the process, but what are the options, really?
after the iPhone, there's no going back.

dear person working in bookstore

I ask you "Do you have The Decameron, part one, in Swedish, in Paul Enokssons excellent translation from 2007?"

You: "What was that again? What was the name of the book? Have never heard of it. Do you spell it with a c or a k?"

What other books have you never heard of?
Sure this is the right job for you?

Question for you readers!

Which is your favorite museum and why?

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Dear Sorel and people reading this

To Sorel - THANK YOU!
To people reading this who are now wondering why the crazy Swedish blogger is kissing her dirty old boot: YOU WOULD TOO.

For years, these boots have carried me through mud, snow and dirt, keeping my feet warm, dry and content. I SALUTE YOU. Few people have done for me what you have,
If you live in a cold/rainy climate, you need these.

They're like SUV's for your feet, but whithout the nouveau riche embarrassment.

ps. My lips aren't really touching the sole. But my soul is!

ps 2. So what if they are.

Dear world

Is there an upper age limit to wearing your hair in braids? I think there might be. What is it?

Dear Fashion

You're so funny! Especially when you're all serious!

Dear Guapa

Dear Guapa at Hökens Gata,
thanks for making me the best breakfast and lunch every day and for being a spot Sara Teleman happened to pass by as I was having coffee this morning.
I love Sara and today she said she loves me too! And I thought the days of romancing other people were over!

Monday, February 1, 2010