Saturday, May 31, 2014

This blog has no defined characteristic. So - so happy you still come here.

I don't know about you, but I've thought a lot about female pharao Hatshepsut.
What I particularly like when it comes to Hatshepsut are the sculptures of Hatshepshut's daughter Neferure with her tutor Senenmut.

There's a less flattering rendering of Hatshepsut and Senenmut too, the kind of image any celebrity has to deal with, in any millennia.

Friday, May 30, 2014

YES! Reader questions from Cathleen!

Name a book you read a while ago but still think about. (technically an order, not a question.)

Do Ikea product names mean something if you understand Swedish or are they gibberish?

They're Swedish words and so do mean something to us. Though they're often mysteriously matched with each product, granting them a poetic weirdness that I like. 

What's something you learned in school that's still useful today? (for me it's touch typing).
English. And I remember my fifth grade teacher saying "If you just memorize something and put it down word by word without being able to put it into your own words, it's plagiarism". A bit harsh for fifth graders who are just trying to get by (also, memorization came so wonderfully easy to me) but perhaps it's saved me from law suits. 

What's the last thing you cooked?

Yesterday morning, lunch for the kids. It's weird making pesto-pasta with broccoli and sausage and all kinds of snacks at 8 in the morning but I'm getting used to it. 

How was the Muppet's Swedish Chef dubbed in Sweden?

He didn't speak Swedish even in the American version so reason to dub it for Swedes. We couldn't make more sense of what he said than anyone else.  hördidördi!

Jimmy Fallon or Jimmy Kimmel?

Kimmel all the way. I love Kimmel. Have a soft spot for Fallon too, but mostly when he sings and dances. But Kimmel. Oh Kimmel. 

Have you ever gone outside to look for the Space Station as it passes over? It's just a bright dot going across the sky, but it's amazing to think about. (You can look up online when it'll be visible, or download an app.)

No haven't but the night confuses me these days (or nights). Aren't a few shining lights also satellites? Your idea is a great one though, I should try that. 

Discipline where did you go?

Have two big deadlines today, a a big cold and NO discipline!
I will meet the deadlines, I always do, but my brain wants to have fun!

You have any questions for me?

On any topic what so ever?
Anything you miss? Anything I should bring back? Forgotten closet? Run with e? Anything?

Ps. Yes, pic above perfectly illustrates the free and fleeting, joy-loving nature of my discipline.

Working out with the wire

I'm one of the few people my generation who have not yet seen The Wire.
When we were waiting for Niki to be born, Anders watched all five seasons in two weeks while I rested. As a result, we arrived at the delivery room in very different states.

I was sitting on the birthing bed watching Anchor Man while Anders was so exhausted he had to rest on a couch on the opposite end of the room (no worries, he shaped up during the actual delivery).

But I know I've missed out. Am thinking I should try a new thing - working out with the Wire.

I'll tell you how it goes.
There may or may not be pictures.

I'm still proud of my Core Training with Babies series:

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Won the lottery!!!!!!

so grateful, miss them so much.

ps. Also greatful for: the wonders of video calls.

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Am serious

At my parents' house, this cup is known as "the one with Emi on it". 

New to New York - public transportation

When people arrive at their destination when traveling on bus or subway, they touchingly say "This is me". It's confusing and childish and I love it.

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Love these pics from last summer

My brother, Niki and Rut at the summer place. Pics by dad's friend Inu.

Trends in cinema

In all the movies I see with the kids, there are so many explosions.
So many.

Like, I can't tell you how many, cause explosions make me fall asleep.

I see faces

Best of Raekwon's instagram

For the children. Always.

Putting women to the test since the early 90s.

We're over the moon. 

The look of dedication. 

Wednesday, May 21, 2014


When it comes to autoimmune disorders, you have to remember it's not about people who have trouble forming lasting attachments to cars.

New to New York

When you finally get around to actually going to a shop or bar you've read about it's almost always already shut down for good. And no, no one bothers to announce a closing on their own website.

Many, many stores are replaced by stores selling fancy clothes for babies. There are many babies in NYC but when they hit 3 or 4 or have a sibling or two, the families break up or move to their home state or their families and friends simply have grown tired of purchasing expensive clothing for them, they grow so fast anyways and ungratefully spill food and juice and chocolate all over the exquisite Swiss lace and Italian hand embroidery and Vietnamese appliqués.

Diskuterar mina dåliga sidor med min bror

saknar honom så!

Embracing or at least acknowledging shitty characteristics

Need to take a close look at my shitty sides in order to be a more whole person.
Trying to find some sort of core. Am this, not that and so on.
love, warts and all etc. 
how do you do it?
help please. 

have to work on:

too eager to please
always exagggerrrrating
interrupting conversation (hoping everyone else thinks they're in the midst of an Italian movie dinner scene too! Caution: They do not. )
what? at times a poor listener
net junkie
too independent
too dependent
(yes, both are true)
judgmental (though hide it well)
low alcohol tolerance
poor lier

by suppressing less flattering sides have lost essential parts of my being, becoming too split, not in touch with real thoughts and real feelings.

too split, like this. seeing both sides is great but not at the expense reaching any real conclusion at all.

Would like to increase/emphasize: 
Original thinking
Better understanding of good and bad in own writing and ideas - have been doing this for 20 years now, why is this part still so hard? I like it most when it's unpolished/real/unexpected. 
Or, I do know what I like. I just have trouble believing other people will like it too. 

Am reading this, think it's for you, too

Thanks Natasha, Rebecca.

New to New York - drivers vs pedestrians

Crossing streets here is a life/death reality. All drivers seemingly hate pedestrians and wish to run over them. There's no love for the people who walk here. No yielding to walkers.

A lady for real leaned out of her cars screaming and cussing at me when crossing a street with my kids. Perhaps her brakes were out of order just like her judgement.

I hate drivers here. Hate them. Especially the honkers.
Recently read that NYC is looking to Sweden to lower traffic fatalities.

It's not hard, NYC drivers, this is what you have to do: use brakes, consider pedestrians people, show the same courtesy people on the subway show each other (Stockholm, you could really look to NYC here).

Every time I have an encounter with an aggressive driver (every day) I think "He hates these pedestrians" in exactly the same way Steve Martin says "He hates these cans" in The Jerk.

New to New York - body art

In Williamsburg, people cover their bodies with tattoos the way the rest of us wear pants. It's just done.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

New to New York - weddings

when weddings are announced in the local paper, it often reads like a kennel breeding, stating not just the current professional state of the spouses but also that of both sets of parents.

where is romance you wonder and realize it's in the fact that anyone gets married at all, considering that both american weddings and divorces are the priciest on the planet.

New to NYC - rats

When you see rats on the tracks, you know you have some waiting for the subway ahead of you. Even when they finally sneak off, you have a good minute or so of waiting. They're not taking chances.


My dad once made a movie with the title "I shall be the Rembrandt of Sweden- Or die!".
It was a biopic of the Swedish painter Ernst Josephson who was pretty clear on his ambitions.
Personally, I'd like to be the Judy Blume of Sweden - or die!

Perhaps not die though, seems so violent.

I'd like to be the Judy Blume of Sweden - or do something else!
I'd like to be the Judy Blume of Sweden - or become a children's librarian.
But then would have to be indoors all the time. Perhaps not even have a glimpse of trees.

I shall be the Judy Blume of Sweden - or work as a children's librarian in a park.
A park with quick access to great coffee and great food.

How long does it take to become a children's librarian?

Ps. Yes, that is Michelle. She's got it down.

Would like a front seat.

Monday, May 19, 2014

Far away from here, somewhere in Saigon

My friend Tanya lives in Saigon and writes about her life there.

life, lately. Joel turned 9.

Hjälp Serbien

little things

The other morning when time was really running out before school drop-off etc a can of cocoa powder fell down from the cupboard and the lid was not strong enough to contain the powder once it hit the floor. Fuming with curses I vacuumed and vacuumed and urged my kids to hurry up and then we made it to school and I forgot all about it.

But now, every time I vacuum, there's a heavenly chocolatey smell.

Friday, May 16, 2014


I recently read an article that stated that through history, every art form has had its wunderkinds with the exception of literature.

I can't believe that. We have Anne Frank. There must be others. Tell me.

In the same magazine, one author said that the best groundwork of writing is thinking, so perhaps we shouldn't practice writing so much as thinking.

She must write in a whole different way than I do, I often need the writing to help the thinking.
Also, the writing is born as much through my fingers as through my conscious brain, it's strange and I can't explain it. I think it's about letting go of barriers and just putting trust in the fingers that something will come and it doesn't have to be good right away, it can always be rewritten.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Found this on the internet, don't know where

Love it, though. 


Wrote this in 2011, still feel exactly the same.

Writer's block / Shut up your inner Cadillac man

I've never suffered from writer's block.
Until this week.

I'm a freelancer and it's wonderful and lonely at the same time. The loneliness is wonderful when work is going well. When it's not, it's like any other loneliness.

And if you make plans to see people, you cut into the time you should be working, perhaps the very moment when the block would melt away.

My current writer's block is caused by the inner critic going: "Oh that's already been written about in a better way, that thought is so unoriginal, your idea is ok but the crafting is dull, no one would read it, or perhaps someone would read it but no one would pay for it".

I try to counteract the inner critic in the three ways I know:

1. To picture the critique as coming from the character in the Cadillac commercial. We don't seem to share many sentiments or values so perhaps I should not be so very troubled with his opinions. He will never like me, I will never like him.

2. Think that all the criticism is directed towards this individual which seems so unfair, she is just a little kid.

3. Read this quote over and over. Thanks, Martha Graham:

There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open.

Ps. to my inner critic on reading this post: Yes, it is bratty to be a privileged person in a creative profession complaining when so many are really struggling to make ends meet. I agree with you on that. But perhaps other people find a little solace from this if they're currently in the same boat. Are you really against comfort and solace? Why? Are you the Cadillac man?

Monday, May 12, 2014

unpredictable communication

I'm working on a project of my own, where the main character is named Nina. 
I love the name Nina so much. Nina Simone, Nina Hagen, Nina Beckmann (my Stockholm friends will get this reference)  - what's not to like?

But somehow I thought perhaps the main character should be called something else. So went to Barnes & Noble to browse some names. But had to go to the bathroom first. There, the sanitary disposal bin had a message for me:

That's Nina with a heart. Perhaps sticking with Nina after all. Kendall? 
Perhaps will work him into the story too. 

I hope this is how their childhood feels

Who's watching who?

Joel turned 9

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Min man

Jag gifte mig med en man med en intressant familj.
På hans pappas sida finns Ernest Thiel, Sveriges mesta psalmförfattare och en ledamot i Svenska akademien.
På hans mammas sida finns författaren till Agaton Sax.
Agaton, min barndoms hjälte.

Detta imponerade enormt på mig när vi först möttes. Att komma så nära Agaton.

Mother's day is coming up

I'm hoping to get this dress, though I know I won't. 
I love this dress! And all the other clothes at the site. I love them so much at first I thought "I'm not gonna share this with the world". 
I got over it. You can have the link! If you buy something, please let me know what  - 
I live through you!