Saturday, January 30, 2010

dear pub department store

thank you for showing you have underwear for every man, including those with scrotal hernias.

Posted by ShoZu

dear men in my life

great to see such important people at our table. transformer prince claims he may throw his knife frisbee at me if I don't do as told. luckily the king has offered me protection.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Dear Dear Golden

Readers, you will hate/love me for directing your attention to Dear Golden. You will find garments with true love potential, but you will spend your entire workday there if you're not careful. Everything looks SO pretty. I think it's because everything there IS so pretty.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Seeing double + more on boobs

The other day as I was running, I noticed everything looked so blurry. I thought to myself my poor vision had become even poorer than before. Turned out I was wearing double contacts in on eye. Why would anyone put in two contacts? I have no answer. I'm a creature of habit. I just do things.

Remember that dress? I didn't quite fill out the boob section. The lady in the store then shared a secret she had learned from top stylists: Wear double bras!
She added: models do it all the time.

Is this something you do?
I'm somewhat tempted, just cause it's such a weird idea.

Dear world -a word on female ideals + manmade boobs

Dear world, I read about Heidi Montag's plastic surgery addiction and her decision to trade/inflate her own boobs into bigger, F-sized boobaloobies.

I'm offering an alternative way to get man made boobs. It's faster and does not require surgery.
Can you get any hotter than Samira? No!
Waste not your money, young people, do it the Samira way!

Ps. I guess all boobs are man made. But you understand what I mean. I know you do.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Clubbing at home

Saturday night, hanging out with young people, dancing.

Where are Vanja and Anders you wonder? Vanja's at a sleepover, Anders is watching the chicken. "This is better than watching TV", he says. Then he adds that he regrets not having filmed the 1 hour roasting so he could watch it all over again, later tonight.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Dear J Crew

I recently purchased 3 sweaters from J Crew. 2 of them were cashmere. I liked their colors and have some kind of degenerated reflex that make me think "buy" whenever I see the word "cable knit" and "cashmere" next to each other.

However, this is what your sweaters look like after a few times wearing them. I haven't even washed it yet. How can you sell these? I have other cashmere items (not from you), they look nothing like this. Why would you want to make yourself the poster company for pilling?

I finally understand why you don't shop to Europe. You wouldn't be able to cope with our Eurostyle wrath!

- a very disappointed end consumer.

Dear Evan Rachel Wood

You are so gorgeous here, it makes me consider some of the most dangerous words known to womankind: "Perhaps I should dye my hair red".

Thursday, January 21, 2010

dear hollywood

They say you're planning your own Stieg Larsson-trilogy?
And that Clooney might play the lead? A lead largely based on the author himself?
I have a better fit!

dear daughter

too bad you're missing school because of your arm, but great for me to spend the day with you at a favorite place, eating favorite things.

Posted by ShoZu

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Run errands with the end consumer

I had to run a few errands. I passed a pet shop. Considered getting the puppy in the window.
It's so cosy and they have both a sale and tons of books.
This nice gentleman sold me a bag. A bag with a name and a personality. Arne. That's the bag's name.
On the way back I passed the local library where some lucky bastard had read books for free, while enjoying a beer. Thinking about it now, I realize that same person perhaps does not consider him/her self a lucky bastard. But the combination of Kati and kind of does it for me.

Dear Chirica

You're the best thing out of Romania since Herta left.

För svenska läsare

Har de brunnit tror ni? Detta är vad jag kommer äta om jag behåller klänningen och dessutom slår till på en duffel jag blivit kär i. Och nej! Har inte glömt Haiti! De får också pengar! Men nu är pengarna slut!

Dear PomPomParlour

Both bolero and dress bought at Pom Pom Parlour, specializing in sexiness. Not my usual focus.


I like it but too expensive. Will return it.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Dear makers of sensible shoes and bags

I went to a store to hunt down some slippers and a new bag for my computer and all the other stiff I carry around (like today, 8 pairs of socks I had put into my bag just to be carried upstairs but forgot about it so the adventurous little socks got a full day out and about).

I didn't find any. Instead bought a dress. The kind fashion editors like to scribble va va voom next to.
Also bought a bolero. A BOLERO.
There's nothing less sensible than a bolero.

I blame all this on Mad Men.

will take picture to show you the vavavoomness of dress. will perhaps return it.
ok, took pictures.

it has a little belt
it has a natural spanx effect.
the effect the-2-year-old-hates-stroller-and-4-year-old-also-wants-to-be carried-around-in-snow-for-months has had on my arms.

Also wearing: My grandmother's old watch. I love thinking how her time is somehow with me. Hours ticked by on her arm, now they're ticking on mine. Perhaps she wore this, watching my mom and her siblings grow up.

Ps. Grandma was petite and had 5 kids=serious muscle.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Dear readers

This is where I grew up. Or rather in an apartment in the house adjacent to this. This was our view. I lived here from age 7-14. It was a new suburb, the trees were so tiny, newly planted, fragile.

It was a sterile, construed, weird world. Only the people had some experience and life. I liked my friends. The houses, not so much. This picture is from a realtor trying to sell an apartment. We've had snow for so long I almost didn't react at all to the absurdity of this picture. Like anyone would sit down on this balcony in this climate and weather, cosy up with a fleece blanket and enjoy the friendly light from the lantern at the right?

Nice try. I don't miss living there. I only miss parts of my childhood.

Thoughts on being a woman

Perfectly fine women are told why they're not perfect. By a man.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Dear Dairy Milk

thank you

Dear James Dean

I love this picture of you. I's like a day in my own life. I dress up, I pose, I feel fantastic. Yet in pictures it appears I'm shorter than I feel and that my trousers aren't the superior fit I thought they were. Also, gloves in the back pocket aren't the giving my overall look the refined touch I was looking for.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

My day in pictures so far

Took the subway.

Thought to myself that if I was to transport a head around town, I'd do it in style too.

Mom, I know you hate this kind of jokes. So for you:
Thought to myself that if I was to transport a mannequin head around town, I'd do it in style too.

Took the subway some more.

Saw the world in its current beautiful frozen state.

For the boys

Let's make this album cover a hit with men/grown boys. Put Mariah nekked on top of an Atariesque logo.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Dear Nintendo

Dear Nintendo,
do you know what my 4-year old told me today? The first thing he said as he woke up?

"Mom, UNFORTUNATELY I can not go to daycare today. I have to go buy Nintendo SuperMario Wintergames".

If I buy this game for him will he ever go to daycare again?

Dear readers - a word on being easy

You know what people say about bloggers. That the past decade was their decade. That bloggers could get whatever they wanted. That they were sent anything they desired.

Well you know what? I tried to get stuff. I tried hard. I was sent a Valley of the dolls DVD. That's it, folks.

That's why I was really surprised when LuShae Jewelry recently said I could pick our anything I wanted at their site as long as I linked the word earrings. It's not really my style but perhaps it's yours? I got these.

See how easy it is to get me to write for stuff? WORLD FOLLOW SUIT!
That means you, Kitchen Aid, Sorel, Patagonia, Laura Mercier, Kiehl's and Sibyllans te och kaffehandel!

Monday, January 11, 2010

Dear international athletesgn

This sign tells the women who work out at my gym that the locker rooms are cleaned daily by both male and female staff members. Does this happen where you live? I don't really mind/care. It just seems exotic somehow.

Another sign of the times: On January 30th 2010 they will remove all tanning beds from our gym. It's the end of an era!

Friday, January 8, 2010

If you only buy 5 books this year

Then buy all 5 volumes in the History of Private Life series. It's been my compact vacation destination for the past decade. I want a real break from everything around, I go deep within the pages of these books. I never tire of reading them.

öppet för spontana skelettbesök!

Posted by ShoZu

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Perhaps the ugliest day of my life

Today is my day to be...ugly! This new year has started out less than perfectly. I have an eye infection that is to be treated with a horrible yellow ointment. I must also nurture hatred towards my left hand because in the past week I have not just scolded it by pouring boiling water over it but was also close to removing my left thumb with the help of a cheese slicer.

The intensely cold Swedish weather has left two thin lines as a memory of what used to be my plump lips.

It's sad really. But did this stop me from getting a haircut? NO! I'd been waiting since March. See how happy I am to see Hasse? And see how he cleverly disguised the eye? Now if my hair was only long enough to cover my hands.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Christmas break

Christmas 2009 was the literary variety in our family. What kind was yours?

Monday, January 4, 2010


I'm back in the office again. Let the new year begin!