Niki hanging out with her best friend from daycare

childhood friends for real

The members of my family I don't currently live with

Miss them every minute of every day. Will reunite soon.

Outing with mom and Niki

Spring is on the way

Stockholm in fog

books - what I'm reading right now

Right now I'm reading this:

http://www.europaeditions.com/book/9781933372716/a-day-in-the-life-of-ancient-rome

It's interesting. There are lots of things in it I didn't know before. For instance, Angela informs the reader that in Roman times. all reading was done aloud, even when you were on your own. That silent reading didn't occur until much later, in convents, when silent reading was introduced so as to not disturb the prayers and meditations of others.

Could this really be true I still wonder? The nature of writing and reading is so often about words that are better kept silent - or secret? WHERE IS MY TIME TRAVELING MACHINE FOR FACT CHECKING THIS?????

Also reading - or rather listening - to this:

This book is itself like a time machine. It feels so authentic, I don't know if I've ever read another book that's made me feel like I'm really there like a fly on the wall in the room, here shared by Lämmchen and Hannes.

And yes, like everyone else, am reading Elena Ferrante, but am reading so slowly. It is magnetic in its way but dense like truffle. I can only take a little piece at a time.

BONAFIDE BLOGGER!!

LOOK! I CAN POSE WITH COSMETICS! Like a real, bonafide blogger!

What is this you wonder? Is it my new lipsmacker hat? 

No, it's lipstick for people who can't wear lipstick. It's Fresh's colored lip balm. 

I love this stuff. 

Life in Stockholm these days

We see friends, we go to Skansen,  we go to museums, we watch Netflix. New season of Puss in boots is fine.

Went to NYC

Anders and Vanja.


Me and Joel.

Going back again soon, will bring Niki this time. The whole family together again. Can't wait.

I LOVE OUTTA CONTROL SO MUCH

How much do I love this song? Let me count the ways! I can't - too many!
I know people are all about Rihanna and Beyonce but Sean Paul brings the joy with Yolanda and Mayra Veronica. You can't stand still. 

You have to

DANCE DANCE DANCE

https://open.spotify.com/track/7oCLCy2KSWthPbDvELHjf7

Beavis & Butthead-style ornitology

Did you know that the latin name for the American Robin is Turdus Migratorius? 

My kind of magic

Different mornings

It's just Niki and me these days. 

Our Stockholm mornings are very different from what they 

were like in our 5-people Brooklyn household. 

Out of words - random flow of pics

For a writer, it's not great to be out of words. But that's where I'm at.
No use to fret, just have to wait calmly for their return.

meanwhile, here are a few pics from the past months

Yesterday. My nephew Måns turned 6.

My friends' kids 1: Axel

My friends' kids 2: Eva

Met up with Sara and Maja

Anders' sister Anna married Joakim

Joel at wedding.

It's true!

this helps me

http://www.16personalities.com/

I'm an ENFP.

this whole scheme helps me understand the world a little better.

Spring spring

Handy!

Ballistic conversation

Still: to once in my life have been addressed Lovegun Lovegun. Perhaps should consider one more name change?

Irreplaceable

First night

Slept the first night in the new apartment. Mom's best friend is staying with her.

In the twilight between sleep and awake the same confusing thoughts: In what bed am I, who is sleeping next to me, what country are we in, who is alive who is dead?

This thought is the only solace: I'll figure it out tomorrow.

On the upside: New school is a 1-minute walk from apt. Much appreciated by mother and child alike.

Now: unpacking, organizing, writing lists.

Still so cold in Stockholm

It's still so cold that my phone keeps dying despite having 50% or more battery.
I hear it every time complaining: I'm from Cupertino, fuck this, I'm out.

I'll say this after a week of extreme cold though: I've gotten used to it. And as long as the cold is dry and beautiful, it's not too bad.

Greetings from Stockholm

Where it is currently 10 degrees Fahrenheit (iphone tells me it feels like 1 degree). 

I'm cold inside out, outside in. Planning my move, the purchase of even warmer winter clothes for Niki and looking forward to meeting up with my friend Lena. 

wish this was in our future as well as in the past

but we've had this. so many moments, years of this. the love lingers on

DANCE DANCE DANCE with me or just dance!

Went to see this yesterday, was reminded of how much I need and love to dance



....
did you dance today?
dance with me!

I've collected some of my at-home-dancing here:

Yes sir I love to boogie

and so, life goes on .

Am still staying with Niki at my parents' house out in the suburbs. We move into our own apartment in downtown Stockholm next week.

This morning, Niki started school here in Sweden. Will pick her up in a few hours, so curious to hear what her day's been like.

Niki in school also means my own first proper day of work.
And mom's first day on her own since dad passed away on Jan 3rd.

I miss Joel, Vanja and Anders so much. But I'll see them again.

dad...
can't fathom I'll never get to hug him again or laugh with him. but so many great memories. so many.

such a loved man. do you see him in the pile of grandkids above? he's there.

going through my pics

found this girl. 

thank you

I can't remember who I've replied to and not so want to send out a big thank you to all of you who've said kind words these past days.

status:

heartbroken.

only relief is family and friends. only not so only.

Life with dad

Dad

I lost my dad this past Sunday. Miss him so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so

so so so so so so so so so

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so so so so so so so so so

so so so so so so so so so.