More on grief

Isn't it ridiculous how grief trumps all other emotions? A friend I miss so much would have turned 39 today. I lit candles this morning, thinking of her and tears welled up, again. In some respect I guess it's nice that the feelings are still in place, not much weakened after so many years.

But at the same time, why shouldn't there be room enough for the other emotions too, like the joy, happiness, giddiness and willingness to tease and mock and laugh that comes with any close friendship?

Instead, just this trumping feeling of sadness, loss and love. Not fair.

I will try to think of you with joy today on your birthday, but fuck, the tears have their own mindset.